Today, April 15th, is my 2nd hash analversary.
2 Years ago, today, Dyin’ to Gobble Cock took me out to my first hash, I remember it as though it was yesterday (although the bruises have since healed), it was a bright warm Sunday in San Diego and the Runstart was at a park and ride at the 805 and Governor. London’s Bitch was haring, and Swallow Bitzch was GM. Those were simpler times, times when hash songs made me spit out my beer in amusement and I had to ask Gobble “what the hell is going on?” when the Humpin’ hashers launched into their world famous debauchery. As we were driving away, I knew. These were my people. The hash is my home.

Over the course of the next few months, I had a lot of firsts in my life. First time I’d ever attended church and chugged a beer within an hour, first time I’d ever climbed in a storm drain, first time I said the phrase “I’ll show you my boobs if you bring me a beer.”

Then, one of the most nerve wracking experiences in any hasher’s life: I got named! Most everyone has heard this story, so I won’t bore you with it again (ask me when I’m drunk, it gets much better), but I’m very proud that I got named almost exactly 6 weeks after I began hashing, by the Humpin’ Hash, at the Humpin’ Campout. I was also the first naming of that weekend. I shared the honor (and once you’re on her…) with Blukake (how the hell are we spelling that? 2 years later, I’m still not sure) and Matzo Ball Me You Sperm Gurgling Butt Whore (I think…)

What am I doing tonight to celebrate my hashtory? Going to a hash of course! Mr. Happy’s, to be precise, our little gem of a pickup hash in Tucson. I’m drinkin’ one for you tonight Dyin’ to Gobble Cock. Thanks for bringing me out to my first hash!